Thursday, March 10, 2011

How to Cure Obesity

I was thinking the other day, and this might make me seem like a dick, but most of the people who are into Glenn Beck and the tea baggers, seem to be on the heavy side.  Bill Maher and Jon Stewart have made the same jokes.  I think I might have a way to get America thinner.  All we have to do is convince Glenn Beck having a fat ass is a socialist plot.

President Obama should get out there and say, "Social Security isn't in trouble.  All the people who are big fat pigs are going to die young and when that happens we won't have to pay out their benefits."

Think about it.  If just half of the obese people die prior to turning 65, based on the fact that 60 percent of Americans are fat, that's a shit load of people not collecting benefits.  Social Security currently has a 2.5 trillion dollar surplus and with all the fatties dropping dead there is no chance we'll ever come close to going bankrupt.  I think that makes a lot of sense.

Now we just need to convince Glenn Beck of this.  He would suddenly turn into the Richard Simmons of the nut jobs.  The pallets of food he sells to the crazies for the coming Armageddon would come from Jenny Craig.  He'd put out "Sweatin' to the Batshit" workout videos and sell gold plated dumbbells where you can store your cash and tone your arms.

Problem solved ...

Les

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